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It’s been a while, well let’s face it… it’s been 2 years since I posted a blog. However, here I am again typing away on the computer to try to get an idea of where I was going with my life years from now when I come back and read these for the fun of it. Where to begin….? I guess I will start with my kids. Rayne and Liam are both growing up way too fast and they learn new things every single day. I enjoy having the opportunity to watch them grow. My home would be the next thing, that is the most challenging obstacle in my life right now. We have been in this house now for three years. A lot has changed but there is still such a long way to go to be where I hope it can be some day. Next, I have some personal goals that I am working on. Things that are embarrassing, things that are goals, and things that are or could be life changing as long as I put in the time and effort over the course of many months.

Last school year (2015-2016) we put Rayne in Kindergarten in a public school. Originally, I had planned on waiting until this school year (2016-2017) to put him in school because I knew that he wasn’t quite ready to go to school. However, after some family prodding, he was set to start school last year. He didn’t do very well because of his energy level so we tried medication and half days at school. When that still failed to produce results, my husband and I decided to pull him out and try again the next year. The summer came and went and it was time to start school again.

Nervously, I planned for the worst while hoping for the best. He was still taking medication for ADHD but this time he would go full days at school. The first month went by and he was doing very well in class. His teacher was happy to have him return to her classroom and he was enjoying school. September rolled around and notes started coming home saying that another child was picking on Rayne during the day. The school assured me that they would handle it and that Rayne was not causing the mayhem so I left it to them, but I did speak to Rayne about not going near the kid that was being nasty to him. Unfortunately, that was just the beginning of the end for Rayne’s public school days. He started going back to the way that he was the year before and I started getting notes saying he was having a hard time sitting still and paying attention. October came and the last straw was a note from his teacher saying that Rayne was “refusing” to do his school work in class. When I was a child that kind of thing earned you a one-way ticket to the Principal’s office and a recess banging erasers instead of playing. Apparently, that now means that the child just has more homework to do when he gets home. It went from hand written notes from the teacher to a small blue piece of printed out paper stapled to his work saying he didn’t use his time wisely. The more work that came home the more I felt like there was a piece of the puzzle missing. Rayne didn’t act like that at home. When I told him to sit down and do his work, he did it. If I told him to knock it off, he stopped. So why was he having so many problems at school? I was also super unhappy having to give him medication for ADHD because it was causing us to have to visit the Dr. more to keep track of his weight (the type of medication is also used as an appetite suppressant), he didn’t want to play with his toys, and he would wake up in the middle of night and vomit if he missed a dose (weekends). As Fall Break approached for the students Rayne went to a Dr. appointment and it was that day that my family and I were given a choice.

October came and the last straw was a note from his teacher saying that Rayne was “refusing” to do his school work in class. When I was a child that kind of thing earned you a one-way ticket to the Principal’s office and a recess banging erasers instead of playing. Apparently, that now means that the child just has more homework to do when he gets home. It went from hand written notes from the teacher to a small blue piece of printed out paper stapled to his work saying he didn’t use his time wisely. The more work that came home the more I felt like there was a piece of the puzzle missing. Rayne didn’t act like that at home. When I told him to sit down and do his work, he did it. If I told him to knock it off, he stopped. So why was he having so many problems at school? I was also super unhappy having to give him medication for ADHD because it was causing us to have to visit the Dr. more to keep track of his weight (the type of medication is also used as an appetite suppressant), he didn’t want to play with his toys, and he would wake up in the middle of night and vomit if he missed a dose (weekends). As Fall Break approached for the students Rayne went to a Dr. appointment and it was that day that my family and I were given a choice.

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Rayne in his first Live Lesson- Homeschooling 2016

Rayne’s doctor is my doctor that I have had since I moved to Indiana SIXTEEN years ago. I love her. She was my doctor as a teen, she was the doctor that helped deliver Rayne, she was the one that I asked for when Liam was born. She is more than a doctor to me, I consider her very much a friend that I love and deeply respect. I went to her with my concerns and she basically said if it was her child she would homeschool him. I left that appointment and went over to my grandmother’s house with my mother, father, husband, and both kids. We sat together and made the decision to homeschool Rayne. He finished out public school and when they went on Fall Break I signed him out of public school and never looked back. Now, we are in the beginnings of Semester Two and Rayne is a straight A student. He loves school and he asks every day “Do I have school today?” He likes his teacher (they have a Live Lesson on the computer twice a week) and he loves being home. He is no longer taking medication and he can sit still and do his school work when he is told to. He gets longer breaks and has more fun learning with daddy and mommy than I think he did at public school. He has a sticker chart every day at home and on Fridays when he has had a good week we have a “Treasure Box” that he gets to pick a prize out of to play with. He is rewarded for good behavior and he has learned to focus better. It isn’t like the house is silent and he has no distractions either. There is a two-year-old, dogs, cats, TV, and many other things going on in the house. And through it all, Rayne can sit and do his work with me right beside him just in case. On top of all of that, Rayne was obviously bored in school because all of his homework was so beyond repetitive. I know that kids need to learn by doing it over and over but the classes that he takes now are much more fast pace. He has to think, he has to use his creativity, brain, eyes, ears, and focus.

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Rayne at his Belt Change Ceremony

In the midst of all of the public school to homeschooling change, Rayne started taking Karate to help with focus and controlling his impulses. He started in August as a white belt in the beginner classes which they call “Lil’ Dragons” and since starting, I have seen such changes in him. It was hard in the beginning because there were other students in his class that I could tell had the same problem and sometimes their antics would get the better of Rayne and he would join in, but I knew that if he could knuckle down he would wind up being very gifted in Martial Arts. Rayne has had a deep fondness for Martial Arts for as long as I can remember. He loves Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, and any movie where there is Karate and Fighting Arts. When he learned he would be in Karate I thought he’d come right out of his skin, he was so excited. He quickly went from a white belt to a blue and white belt and recently a very exciting thing happened. I received a special invitation in the mail to come and talk to his Sensei and Shihan about joining a special class of youth students known as the “Dragon Flames”. When we got there we were informed that this class is by special invitation only and that at least three separate teachers had to suggest that a student should be in the class to even be considered. Rayne is now taking class three days a week in a higher level class and on the third day of the week he is taking a special “Kicknastics” class (kicking, trick, and tumbling) where he is the youngest student and currently the lowest belt color. He is now a yellow and white belt and part of the “Dragon Flames” class. He is very proud of his new blue Gi (uniform) which replaced a white Gi that he used to wear. He is very focused in class and it has been commented on by family and teachers alike. I love watching him learning to control his energy level without having to pump him full of chemicals that crush who he is as a person. He is a bright and beautiful star in my life. I think he will go all the way in Karate for sure.

Liam is turning two on the 28th of this month and my goodness here comes the terrible twos. He definitely knows the word “NO!” and he will tell it to you quite loudly. I have spoiled that child something fierce and it is something I’m about to pay for, but that’s ok. He will learn, it just takes time. In the past probably… two months he has really become animated and started talking more. He is trying to learn new words and talk with us about what he wants. He recently learned “Please” which is adorable because of course he looks at you with those giant blue eyes and says “please” and you about want to die because it is so sweet. He’s a very loving baby to the family. Whenever anyone gets home he runs up to them and throws his arms around their leg and looks up saying, “Hi!” when you answer he then says, “What doin?” and you can have a short but oh so adorable conversation with him about your day and his day before he is ready to do something else. He is very inquisitive. He always wants to know what you are doing and if he can do it too. He loves to play with blocks and pretty much anything in his big brothers’ room, much to Rayne’s dismay. He loves to look at books and watch Octonauts in the morning with Rayne or daddy. I am more the snuggle bug with him. Whenever he’s ready to fall asleep he comes to me and settles quite contentedly into my lap and drops off to sleep promptly within five minutes of settling in. He enjoys singing and dancing very much, which of course, is completely adorable. He has recently decided that he loves the Netflix show “A Series of Unfortunate Events”.

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Liam- Late Fall 2016

The thing about Liam is, he has the most gorgeous eyes. They’re so blue and they change to gray depending on the weather and what he is wearing. I love his eyes. I can tell he is going to be a very handsome man (so is his brother). He also has the best smile and a giggle that is infectious. I love taking pictures of Rayne and Liam together because they are beautiful children. I know, I know I am biased but I can’t help it. They are my pride and joy. Liam loves going outside and I am hoping for one more good snow before winter is over so he can go outside in his snowsuit and play in the snow. I want to get pictures of Rayne and Liam together in the snow. I think they would be pretty.

The house has come a long way since we moved in 3 years ago. The walls are painted, the bathroom is completely tiled, the floors are mostly done, and the kitchen is almost entirely finished. It is very homey for us. Rayne enjoys his room to the fullest. He has a fabulous playhouse bunk bed type bed that he loves very much. He has a great imagination. I hear him playing in his room all the time and he’s always making up fantastic tales and coming up with interesting adventures for his toys. The fireplace is probably my favorite thing in the house, it is so toasty in the Living Room with the fire going. I have so many goals for the next year to three years. The room that my husband and I use as our bedroom currently, will be converted into an in-house photography studio and office. The upstairs will be finished and we will move the bedrooms up there. I plan on working more on the front yard and making it look more inviting and beautiful. I want more color. There are also some trees out front that are scaring the crap out of me. I feel like they need to be removed for safety reasons. I also fully intend to put a privacy fence up in the backyard. There are also a few dead trees in the back that need to be taken down for safety before they fall down.

The house- Front Yard

I’ll be honest, l when I first moved into the house I didn’t “love” it. There was a lot to do and it was the total opposite of what I thought I would live in when I got a house. However, as the years have gone by I have fallen more and more in love with this place. It is the exact opposite of how I felt when I lived in an apartment. I would move in loving a place and by the time my lease was up, I hated living there. There is still much to do and I admit I am excited to continue working on it.

The last thing that I am working on in my life is two things at once. When you wake up and realize that you are about to turn 30 and you haven’t done a lot with your life, career wise…. and on top of that you are nearing a huge promise that you made yourself would never happen. You quite literally have an “OH CRAP” moment and have to either fall into a deep dark depression or pick yourself up and say “Aw hell no.”I chose the latter of the two options and I am so glad that I did. I can’t believe how blessed I feel with where my life is heading. In fact, I’ve never felt AS blessed as I do right now. I want to inspire others to find the light and joy in what they want like I am.

Recently, I decided that I had gained quite enough weight and it was time to do something about it. I went to my Doctor thinking I was going to discuss having Bariatric Surgery. However, she had a better idea. I held my breath and jumped into that idea and for the past month, I have lost almost a pound a day and I am so excited about it. I gave up sugar and diet soda to start with. The sugar wasn’t so hard, but the diet soda took a lot of work to finally kick the habit. I haven’t craved a soda in over a week and for someone that could drink four to six cans a day and had been for the past probably 15 years, that is pretty good. I can’t bring myself to post how heavy I refused to allow myself to get to, nor post what the weight was that finally caused me to find myself sitting in my Doctor’s office saying, “No way, help me,” yet. However, as more results happen I feel that I will be able to share that with you, the reader. I can say that I feel fantastic mentally and I am starting to feel more and more physically fantastic as well.

When I did my “Holy CRAP I’m turning 30!” moment I suddenly had an epiphany of what I wanted to do with the career aspect of my life. And so, on November 13, 2016, FeyWild Photography was born from a dream I have had for years. I decided that I wanted to be a private photographer. I went to my family and I told them what I wanted to do and the next thing I knew I had huge ideas and plans going through my mind of what kind of photographer I wanted to be. More than anything, I wanted to do something that I knew would be cherished by those who received the photos. So, I set out to be a Birth photographer. I did and do plan on taking photos for Weddings, Seniors, Maternity, etc. However, the absolute dream and passion goes to the Birth photography. As someone who had an emergency C-section and then a VBAC but no one taking pictures it is something that I greatly miss because I was, as a new mom to be would be, quite distracted from reminding my nurse or husband to run grab someone to take pictures.

My mother has become a silent partner that has helped me get going on so many of my ideas. She purchased some props for when I start doing newborn photography and a beautiful wicker basket to go with them. She also gave me the best gift ever, business cards. My husband did the artwork and I edited them until I was happy with them and sent them off to be printed. What has been happening over the past two days as a result of this soul searching has been amazing!

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Business Card- Art by Justin McConnell

Stay tuned for more information about the photography business I am beyond excited to tell everyone soon.

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